The fact that I'm single and not seeing anyone serious or that i don't have someone special hadnt really affected me for a long time................till today.....i really felt sad abt it today after a loooooong time.....
Wore a new punjabi suit to work today. Had stitched long time ago but hadn't worn it. I had ironed it and it was hanging on my clothes rack for 2 weeks and I decided to wear it today since I'm going to the temple later, despite the terrifying weather (the punjabi suit is long sleeve) and i really looked good in the bright red colour. That's when it hit me - I have nobody special to show it to and to admire me in it......
You know me, I'm not the type to dress up for work. But when I do feel like dressing up, I'll make I show it to Kumar. I'll go over and wait till he comes back from work, no matter how late it is and parade in front of him, in hope of a nice comment. And most of the time, he would give me one coz I knew what kind of dressing he liked.
This morning, on my way to work, I missed having a boyfriend.....there's nothing like getting a nice comment from that special someone when you are dressed well, regardless of whether its for him or just for fun.........damn......that was when I felt super lonely......
Then i got remembered about something that happened recently.......i had things set.....my mind was set on one thing; no more compromises....my path was straight and clear......but then......you had to come along and make my mind and path divert and just when I started to compromise again....compromise one more time.......you had to drop everything.....citing me as a reason........damn, I'm so sick of people blaming me for everything......why can't people reaslise their own mistakes.......damn....i'm just so sick of it!!! Now you made things more difficult....for me......"thank you".......damn.......
Anyway, with my half-hearted self at work, I conducted a training for the people in my unit, regarding our individual websites.
I was so pissed that I had to conduct this. I was almost ready to kill my 'Head' for making me do it. (ok, i'm being a bit dramatic here...). I was also comtemplating having a no show at work, just to avoid it but i realised that a screw-up during the training is better than a nagging from my mother. Reluctantly I started the training but hey, it did turn out well to my surprise. I didn't bore anyone. No one ended up dozing off and they even corrected my mistake later which meant that they were paying attention. I felt so happy! :) I'm glad I did a good training! :) *pats back* :) At least this perked me up a bit! :)
Another half-an-hour or so......gonna leave, go temple n bum at home.....I'll enjoy this 2 weeks of freedom from tuitions till it starts again in end May....
*kooravaa inggu enadhu aasayai...thozhanae vandhu ularu meedhiyai...*
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